As someone who gets lost moving between the bathroom and the bedroom I can really, really, really, see the benefits of satellite powered car navigation systems.

However, I was sent a release about a new one from Sony which on paper sounds brilliant, but judging by the image that accompanied the release, is more confusing than that form I filled in that time for a mail order bride.

Colin, when he arrived was a male order bride. I still haven't got my money back, and he still can't make a decent cup of tea. However, he is a very good map reader.

In a recent episode of studio-set office drama the Apprentice, potential cheap suit wearers were asked to go off and think of something to sell to dog owners. This, following the bearded-business owners advice that, "Nutters will spend a fortune on trinkets and gadgets for their dogs". 

Sir Alan's half barked, half chewed out of his mouth statement reminded me of the dreadful Sugar-head-fingerpointing-unit that was released after the last series finished.

Of course it had something to do with charity, but that was really no excuse to release such a terrible item into the hands of anything but belligerent dogs. 

Why not one of the gelled hair monkeys thought to buy up what is probably a massive surplus of the units as dog chews will forever be a mystery to me. Call themselves entrepreneurs?